dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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