I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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