I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
