the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
