just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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