you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
