I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
