I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
