Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
