she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
