Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
