meet me or not, i'm out of control
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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