so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
operation have a gay friend backfired
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
