But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
