Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
