All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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