I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
