If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
