My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
