He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
