Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
