3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
