proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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