mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
