Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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