I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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