i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Come on in and take your pants off
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