I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
