Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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