so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
