Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
