based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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