I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
