There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
