i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
