Me. At least after what I've been through.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
