Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
