brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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