id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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