sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Success! We fucked roommates!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
