Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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