ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
