dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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