he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
