U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
