It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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