Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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