at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
