You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
