I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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