If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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