I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
